Blog Articles
Re cultivating the need to nurture
“By the time you are 50, it’s either God or the garden,” said a close friend a decade ago when she was approaching her...
Relying on the comfort of strangers.
“He sails out of Southampton.” “Yes!” “I remember when he was born. You were so excited; your first grandson.” I...
Recognising the dangers of a depleted system
I’m scared. What I’ve seen play out before me over the last few weeks scares me as much, if not more than the...
Re-galvinising: after the loss.
My dog died last week. She was my second baby, my shadow, my companion, for 15 years. I was her top dog and she was mine. She spent her days at my feet, or cuddled up nearby while I worked, often discernible in the corner of a zoom meeting. If I lay on the sofa, she...
Respecting: a Lesson in Generosity
A glorious May in a Northern city. Being out in the empty streets at 9 o’clock in the evening was strangely soothing; people had gone home from their offices, the shops were closed and the large, black buildings had heaved a sigh and settled down for the night. I...
Recognising the psychological impact of lockdown
It was week two of facing one of my greatest obstacles, a task so seamless to others, as simple as blinking or breathing. Not that I found either simple in this moment; I notice my blinking is rapid and my breathing is tense, fast, shallow. This familiar and yet...
Returning to work: managing that sinking feeling.
It isn't called a sinking feeling for nothing. It feels like you're in a lift, plummeting down the outside of a skyscraper, out of control, hurtling towards the inevitable. Your stomach is like a washing machine on fast spin, and the dread, deep in your soul, is...
Retrospectively thankful for the kindness of strangers
The migraine had started the day before the flight. Anxiety, fear, another strange city, another few days of second guessing, trying not to fall foul of the quixotic, moody boss who had to be kept happy or nobody’s life was worth living. Was it really any wonder this...
Reinforcing the power of humanity
“And what skill will you be teaching?” “Guitar,” came the reply. “Great!” My enthusiasm was somewhat fake. In my experience the few surgeons who tried to teach guitar in five minutes, failed miserably. Depending on your experiences of guitars – or surgeons I will...
Repulsed by cruelty
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I was taught to say this at school if called a name – and I did, when I was. Even before I began to be a spectacles wearer – not a cool look in 1978 – I was singled out for being small, skinny and...
Remembering my Grandparents.
Grandparents. I used to worry I would be sacked over mine. For many years I had seven of them, and was terrified some of them would die at once and my employers would claim I was making up their funerals to get out of work. Most grown adults have no more than four and...
Recognising Patient Fears
She’d sat and waited for nearly four hours by the time it was her turn to be called through. It was late one Friday evening, and the department had been busy with what seemed like a constant stream of pre-alerts and ambulances. As a team we had dealt with a multitude...